Tuesday, November 26, 2013

whats what

I have been told by many people that in the face of
tragedy, that you should document your inner most feelings. Thats what this blog will be about. I will speak of my childhood, molestation,incest, and worst of all my mothers suicide. I find that each day is one foot in front of the other, thats when I can actually get out of bed. Time heals all, they say. Where is this magical time that takes it all away? Calgon! Where are you? Do you not see my pain? Do you not see that I am unraveling at the seams? My hope is that someone out there will read my blog and learn from my life. This isnt just about what has been done to me. Its about what was done to her. Completely preventable! So I hear the best place to start is the beginning,  so here I go. Wish me luck.

My very first memory as a child was not the typical. I was 3 1/2. I was sitting eating my morning cereal, my parents at the table drinking their coffee. I saymatter of fact, Grandpa showed me his penis. WHAT??!!! What happened next i didnt undunderstand at the time. All I remember is all my dads siblings holding him down, then cops everywhere. But what I do remember clearly is how my Mom had taught me" good touch, bad touch" . Dont go into Grandpas bathroom with him, or his bedroom. It wasnt till much later in life that all this information clicked! Still to this day I think, please no! Say its not true. But it was. This is my Truth. There will be triumps, you just have to really look. Dont worry, I will point them out. Till tomorrow..,,God Bless